http://samslife.blog.co.uk/Yep, I'm really that boring.en-EUMokoFeed10http://samslife.blog.co.uk/http://data5.blog.de/design/preview/32/ea1ef62b5c9cda442882c4274ebc59_160x200.jpghttp://samslife.blog.co.uk/2009/11/19/a-rooster-tail-7413982/tag:samslife.blog.co.uk,2009-11-19:/2009/11/19/a-rooster-tail-7413982/Thu, 19 Nov 2009 15:38:59 +0100 <p>John was in the fertilized egg business.</p> <p>He had several hundred young layers (hens), called 'pullets,' and ten roosters to fertilize the eggs.</p> <p>He kept records, and any rooster not performing went into the soup pot and was replaced..</p> <p>This took a lot of time, so he bought some tiny bells and attached them to his roosters.</p> <p>Each bell had a different tone, so he could tell from a distance, which rooster was performing.</p> <p>Now, he could sit on the porch And fill out an efficiency report by just listening to the bells.</p> <p>John's favourite rooster, old Butch, was a very fine specimen, but this morning he noticed old Butch's bell hadn't rung at all!</p> <p>When he went to investigate, he saw the other roosters were busy chasing pullets, bells-a-ringing, but the pullets, hearing the roosters coming, could run for cover.</p> <p>To John's amazement, old Butch had his bell in his beak, so it couldn't ring.</p> <p>He'd sneak up on a pullet, do his job and walk on to the next one.</p> <p>John was so proud of old Butch, he entered him in the Renfrew County Fair and he became an overnight sensation among the judges.</p> <p>The result was the judges not only awarded old Butch the "No Bell Piece Prize" but they also awarded him the Pulletsurprise as well.</p> <p>Clearly old Butch was a politician in the making.</p> <p>Who else but a politician could figure out how to win two of the most highly coveted awards on our planet by being the best at sneaking up on the populace and screwing them when they weren't paying attention.</p> <p>Vote carefully next year, the bells are not always audible. </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://samslife.blog.co.uk/2009/11/19/a-rooster-tail-7413982/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>how-truehttp://samslife.blog.co.uk/2009/11/19/a-rooster-tail-7413982/#commentshttp://samslife.blog.co.uk/2009/11/16/want-a-good-laugh-7386857/tag:samslife.blog.co.uk,2009-11-16:/2009/11/16/want-a-good-laugh-7386857/Mon, 16 Nov 2009 18:40:28 +0100 <p>Check this page out!!!!</p> <p><a href="http://twitter.com/RedneckSingle">http://twitter.com/RedneckSingle</a> </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://samslife.blog.co.uk/2009/11/16/want-a-good-laugh-7386857/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>humorhttp://samslife.blog.co.uk/2009/11/16/want-a-good-laugh-7386857/#commentshttp://samslife.blog.co.uk/2009/11/16/a-weird-weekend-7385631/tag:samslife.blog.co.uk,2009-11-16:/2009/11/16/a-weird-weekend-7385631/Mon, 16 Nov 2009 14:44:32 +0100 <p>Got up at 4:00 a.m. on Saturday to go Duck/Goose hunting with my father in law. It was slightly misting and very overcast. By the time we got to the blind, got the decoys set up and in position it was nothing but a waiting game from then. </p> <p>We waited....</p> <p>and waited....</p> <p>and waited....</p> <p>For 6 hours and not a single bird flew by or even made a sound within in any hearing distance. So we packed up and went looking for birds and couldn't find any on our usual ponds that we can go to. So we decided to do a little Turkey hunting. Went to the place he saw the turkeys at on Friday. As we started making a few calls, we heard nothing. It was a very disappointing day.</p> <p>To make matters worse, one of our family friends mother passed away on Saturday as well. This family is lives up where we hunt and we frequently hunt with and fish with them, so it came as a blow to us as well. She's been in the hospital for several days and was starting to recover when she went downhill fast. I didn't have cell reception until I got into town and that's when we found out. </p> <p>So we stopped by there for a little while and then went and got pizza and beer for them as they have been up since 1 a.m. that day and haven't eaten. We where there for a couple more hours and then lots of people started to show up so we said our goodbyes. Rosaries tonight.</p> <p>Sunday was just a blah day with it raining non-stop, so took to cleaning the house up.</p> <p>It just ended up being a pretty shitty weekend. </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://samslife.blog.co.uk/2009/11/16/a-weird-weekend-7385631/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>shitty-weekendhttp://samslife.blog.co.uk/2009/11/16/a-weird-weekend-7385631/#commentshttp://samslife.blog.co.uk/2009/11/12/texts-from-last-night-7359686/tag:samslife.blog.co.uk,2009-11-12:/2009/11/12/texts-from-last-night-7359686/Thu, 12 Nov 2009 18:38:58 +0100 <p> (512): Do people in England often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule? </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://samslife.blog.co.uk/2009/11/12/texts-from-last-night-7359686/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>texts-from-last-nighthttp://samslife.blog.co.uk/2009/11/12/texts-from-last-night-7359686/#commentshttp://samslife.blog.co.uk/2009/11/12/lt-font-definitions-font-face-font-family-wingdings-panose-1-5-7358418/tag:samslife.blog.co.uk,2009-11-12:/2009/11/12/lt-font-definitions-font-face-font-family-wingdings-panose-1-5-7358418/Thu, 12 Nov 2009 14:37:50 +0100 <p><p> <small> <a href="http://samslife.blog.co.uk/2009/11/12/lt-font-definitions-font-face-font-family-wingdings-panose-1-5-7358418/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>memehttp://samslife.blog.co.uk/2009/11/12/lt-font-definitions-font-face-font-family-wingdings-panose-1-5-7358418/#commentshttp://samslife.blog.co.uk/2009/11/04/hello-smitty1247-in-order-to-use-your-tags-to-improve-7309012/tag:samslife.blog.co.uk,2009-11-04:/2009/11/04/hello-smitty1247-in-order-to-use-your-tags-to-improve-7309012/Wed, 04 Nov 2009 22:51:18 +0100 <p>Hello smitty1247,</p> <p>in order to use your tags to improve the searchability of your blog posts, it has been necessary to make a few changes to the tag system.</p> <p>The changes are as follows:</p> <p>- tags will continue to be separated by a comma<br> - a tag must consist of between two and fifty characters<br> - a single tag can consist of up to five words<br> - almost all characters can be used as tags, except <, > and any other HTML code symbols</p> <p>Unfortunately, these changes have caused some of your tags to be deleted.</p> <p>--------------------------------------------------------------------------------<br> The following are your tags were deleted:</p> <p>Post Tag: m | free-drinks-for-putting-up-with-me. | trying-my-hardest-not-to-kill-somebody | can't-believe-i-was-so-stupid. | at-least-they-didn't-take-away-my-blog | am-i-really-sure-i-want-to-live-on-a-farm. | can't-even-be-arsed-to-scratch-my-arse. | because-i-wanted-to-be-different. | why-do-women-have-to-be-so-complicated | a-nick-like-rant-i'm-just-kidding-nick | hope-nick-doesn't-have-the-plague | victoria-can't-keep-you-under-control | frankly-this-place-needs-to-livin-up-a-bit. | at-least-i-made-the-front-page-of-something. | i-could-die-of-a-heart-attach-today | stressful-times-at-work-these-days | wow-your-minds-in-the-gutter | who-needs-coffee-to-start-your-day | hitting-a-wall-never-felt-so-good. | i-changed-the-names-to-protect-the-innocent. | i'd-be-drunk-off-my-ass! | there's-no-way-this-is-going-to-fu__ing-work. | i-nearly-blew-a-head-gasket. | i-will-survive-i-am-alive | heard-on-the-radio-this-morning | but-i-don't-want-to-lose-any. | i-need-to-slow-down-and-smell-the-roses. | booty-and-booze-a-perfect-combination | hell-i-got-happy-just-reading-this! | what-the-hell-is-my-gf-trying-to-tell-me | up-all-night-sleep-all-day | i'm-leaving-on-a-jet-plane-don't-know-if-i'll-be-back-again | keeping-my-toes-in-the-sand. | it's-the-little-things-that-make-you-laugh. | i'd-hate-to-meat-someone-with-a-good-grip | i-had-for-one-for-the-guys.... | if-i-could-only-find-a-way-to-put-a-gun-to-someone's-head.</p> <p>--------------------------------------------------------------------------------<br> The tags were deleted because of the following errors:</p> <p>- Die Mindestanzahl von Zeichen für ein Tag wurde nicht eingehalten. Ein Tag muss mindestens aus 2 zusammenhängenden Buchstaben oder Zahlen bestehen (a-z, A-Z, 0-9).<br> - Das Tag enthält zu viele Wörter. Ein Tag darf nur aus maximal 5 Wörtern bestehen. Bitte trenne Deine Tags mit Kommas und nicht mit Leerzeichen.<br> - Tags dürfen nicht länger als 50 Zeichen sein.</p> <p>--------------------------------------------------------------------------------</p> <p>Thank you for your understanding. We hope you enjoy the new improved tag system.</p> <p>If you want to read more about the new tag system, or give us some feedback on the changes, please click here: The Blog</p> <p>Your blog.de team </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://samslife.blog.co.uk/2009/11/04/hello-smitty1247-in-order-to-use-your-tags-to-improve-7309012/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>what-a-bunch-ofhttp://samslife.blog.co.uk/2009/11/04/hello-smitty1247-in-order-to-use-your-tags-to-improve-7309012/#commentshttp://samslife.blog.co.uk/2009/11/02/how-well-do-you-know-your-etiquette-around-the-world-7293790/tag:samslife.blog.co.uk,2009-11-02:/2009/11/02/how-well-do-you-know-your-etiquette-around-the-world-7293790/Mon, 02 Nov 2009 18:47:44 +0100 <p><a href="http://www.fekids.com/img/kln/flash/DontGrossOutTheWorld.swf">http://www.fekids.com/img/kln/flash/DontGrossOutTheWorld.swf</a> </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://samslife.blog.co.uk/2009/11/02/how-well-do-you-know-your-etiquette-around-the-world-7293790/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>gamehttp://samslife.blog.co.uk/2009/11/02/how-well-do-you-know-your-etiquette-around-the-world-7293790/#commentshttp://samslife.blog.co.uk/2009/11/02/what-a-lazy-weekend-7292493/tag:samslife.blog.co.uk,2009-11-02:/2009/11/02/what-a-lazy-weekend-7292493/Mon, 02 Nov 2009 14:58:49 +0100 <p>Didn't really get much accomplished.</p> <p>On Saturday Jenn and I went with her parents to their old house that they just finally sold to rake leaves and move stuff out for the last time. That was early Saturday morning. After that we just chilled around the house till about 5 O'clock where we went out to eat and then over to a Halloween party at one of her friends house. There wasn't any costumes or anything like that, we just watched a movie (The unborn) and let the kids go Trick or Treating. </p> <p>Sunday, we actually had plans to do stuff around the apartment to get ready to move, if we ever close. Instead, the old 1983 miniseries "V" was on and my wife stopped everything to watch that. Since there is a new version coming out next week, the SyFy channel had a "V" marathon. We watched that from noon to 10:00 p.m. last night. Apparently it is one of Jenn's favorite shows that she watched with her dad. After about the first hour I was hooked and stayed glued to the TV.</p> <p>It's nice to have a some R&R. </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://samslife.blog.co.uk/2009/11/02/what-a-lazy-weekend-7292493/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>couch-potato-extraordinairehttp://samslife.blog.co.uk/2009/11/02/what-a-lazy-weekend-7292493/#commentshttp://samslife.blog.co.uk/2009/10/28/to-much-information-7264307/tag:samslife.blog.co.uk,2009-10-28:/2009/10/28/to-much-information-7264307/Wed, 28 Oct 2009 21:19:48 +0100 <span><span>....Ooo, Chocolate Pudding!</span> </span> <p><span class="speakerline"><span class="speakerlabel">Large chick in group of students</span>: I like science, music, dance, and you know what else I like? Anal.</span></p> <p><span class="location">Community College<br>Virginia</span></p> <p> <small> <a href="http://samslife.blog.co.uk/2009/10/28/to-much-information-7264307/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>overheardhttp://samslife.blog.co.uk/2009/10/28/to-much-information-7264307/#commentshttp://samslife.blog.co.uk/2009/10/21/women-s-training-class-7219398/tag:samslife.blog.co.uk,2009-10-21:/2009/10/21/women-s-training-class-7219398/Wed, 21 Oct 2009 22:25:35 +0200 <p class="ecxMsoNormal"><strong><span><span>Fall Classes for Women at</span></span></strong><span><span><span> </span></span></span><strong><span><span><br></span></span></strong><strong><span><span>THE</span></span><span><span> </span></span></strong><strong><span><span>ADULT</span></span></strong><span><strong><span><span> </span></span></strong></span><strong><span><span>LEARNING</span></span></strong><span><strong><span><span> </span></span></strong></span><strong><span><span>CENTER</span></span></strong><strong><span><span><br></span></span></strong><strong><span><span><br>REGISTRATION MUST BE COMPLETED<br>by</span></span></strong><strong><span><span> </span></span></strong><strong><span><span>Friday</span></span></strong><strong><span><span>,</span></span></strong><strong><span><span> </span></span></strong><strong><span><span> </span></span></strong><strong><span><span>November 20th</span></span></strong><strong><span><span> </span></span></strong><strong><span><span>,</span></span></strong><span><strong><span><span> </span></span></strong></span><strong><span><span>2009</span></span></strong><strong><span><span><br></span></span></strong><strong><span><span><br></span></span></strong><strong><span><span>NOTE: DUE TO THE COMPLEXITY AND DIFFICULTY LEVEL<br>OF THEIR CONTENTS, CLASS SIZES WILL BE LIMITED TO 8 PARTICIPANTS MAXIMUM</span></span></strong><span><span>.</span></span><strong><span></span></strong></p> <p class="ecxMsoNormal"><strong><span><span><br></span></span></strong><strong><span><span><br></span></span></strong><strong><span><span><span>Class 1</span></span></span></strong><strong><span><span><br>Up in Winter, Down in Summer - How to Adjust a Thermostat</span></span></strong><span><span><span> </span></span></span><span><span><br></span></span><strong><span><span>Step by Step, with Slide Presentation.</span></span></strong><strong><span><span><br></span></span></strong><strong><span><span>Meets 4 wks, Monday and Wednesday for 2 hrs beginning at 7:00 PM..</span></span></strong><strong><span><span> </span></span></strong></p> <p class="ecxMsoNormal"><span></span></p> <p class="ecxMsoNormal"><strong><span><span><span>Class 2</span></span></span></strong><strong><span><span><br>Which Takes More Energy - Putting the Toilet Seat Down, or Bitching About It for 3 Hours?<br>Round Table Discussion.</span></span></strong><strong><span><span><br></span></span></strong><strong><span><span>Meets 2 weeks, Saturday 12:00 for 2 hours.</span></span></strong><strong><span><span> </span></span></strong><span><span> </span></span><span><span> </span></span></p> <p class="ecxMsoNormal"><span></span></p> <p class="ecxMsoNormal"><strong><span><span><span>Class 3</span></span></span></strong><strong><span><span><br>Is It Possible To Drive Past a Wal-Mart Without Stopping?--Group Debate.</span></span></strong><strong><span><span><br></span></span></strong><strong><span><span>Meets 4 weeks, Saturday 10:00 PM for 2 hours.</span></span></strong><strong><span><span> </span></span></strong><span><span> </span></span><span><span> </span></span></p> <p class="ecxMsoNormal"><span></span></p> <p class="ecxMsoNormal"><strong><span><span><span>Class 4</span></span></span></strong><span><span><span> </span></span></span><strong><span><span><br>Fundamental Differences Between a Purse and a Suitcase--Pictures and Explanatory Graphics.</span></span></strong><strong><span><span><br>Meets Saturdays at 2:00 PM for 3 weeks.</span></span></strong><span><span> </span></span><span><span> </span></span></p> <p class="ecxMsoNormal"><span></span></p> <p class="ecxMsoNormal"><strong><span><span><span>Class 5</span></span></span></strong><strong><span><span><br>Curling Irons--Can They Levitate and Fly Into The Bathroom Cabinet?<br>Examples on Video.</span></span></strong><strong><span><span><br></span></span></strong><strong><span><span>Meets 4 we eks, Tuesday and Thursday for 2 hours beginning<br></span></span></strong><strong><span><span>at 7:00 PM</span></span></strong><strong><span><span> </span></span></strong><span><span> </span></span><span><span> </span></span></p> <p class="ecxMsoNormal"><span></span></p> <p class="ecxMsoNormal"><strong><span><span><span>Class 6</span></span></span></strong><strong><span><span><br>How to Ask Questions During Commercials and Be Quiet During the Program<br>Help Line Support and Support Groups.</span></span></strong><strong><span><span><br></span></span></strong><strong><span><span>Meets 4 Weeks, Friday and Sunday 7:00</span></span></strong><strong><span><span> PM</span></span></strong><span><span> </span></span><span><span> </span></span></p> <p class="ecxMsoNormal"><span></span></p> <p class="ecxMsoNormal"><strong><span><span><span>Class 7</span></span></span></strong><strong><span><span><br>Can a<span> </span>Bath<span> </span>Be Taken Without 14 Different Kinds of Soaps and Shampoos?<br>Open Forum</span></span></strong><strong><span><span>.<br></span></span></strong><strong><span><span>Monday at 8:00 PM, 2 hours.</span></span></strong><span><span> </span></span><span><span> </span></span></p> <p class="ecxMsoNormal"><span></span></p> <p class="ecxMsoNormal"><strong><span><span><span>Class 8</span></span></span></strong><strong><span><span><br>Health Watch--They Make Medicine for PMS - USE IT!</span></span></strong><strong><span><span><br></span></span></strong><strong><span><span>Three nights; Monday, Wednesday, Friday at 7:00 PM for 2 hours.</span></span></strong><strong><span><span> </span></span></strong><span><span> </span></span><span><span> </span></span></p> <p class="ecxMsoNormal"><span></span></p> <p class="ecxMsoNormal"><strong><span><span><span>Class 9</span></span></span></strong><strong><span><span><br>I Was Wrong and He Was Right!--Real Life Testimonials.</span></span></strong><strong><span><span><br></span></span></strong><strong><span><span>Tuesdays at 6:00 PM Location to be determined.</span></span></strong><strong><span><span> </span></span></strong><span><span> </span></span><span><span> </span></span></p> <p class="ecxMsoNormal"><span></span></p> <p class="ecxMsoNormal"><strong><span><span><span>Class 10</span></span></span></strong><strong><span><span><br>How to<span> </span>Parallel<span> Park</span><span> </span>In Less Than 20 Minutes Without an Insurance Claim.<br>Driving Simulations...</span></span></strong><strong><span><span><br></span></span></strong><strong><span><span>4 weeks, Saturday's noon, 2 hours.</span></span></strong><span><span> </span></span><span><span> </span></span></p> <p class="ecxMsoNormal"><span></span></p> <p class="ecxMsoNormal"><strong><span><span><span>Class 11</span></span></span></strong><strong><span><span><br>Learning to Live--How to Apply Brakes Without Throwing Passengers Through the Windshield</span></span></strong><strong><span><span>.<br></span></span></strong><strong><span><span>Tuesdays at 7:00 PM, location to be determined</span></span></strong><span><span> </span></span><span><span> </span></span></p> <p class="ecxMsoNormal"><span></span></p> <p class="ecxMsoNormal"><strong><span><span><span>Class 12</span></span></span></strong><strong><span><span><br>How to Shop by Yourself.</span></span></strong><strong><span><span><br></span></span></strong><strong><span><span>Meets 4 wks, Tuesday and Thursday for 2 hours beginning at 7:00 PM</span></span></strong><strong><span><span>.</span></span></strong><strong><span><span> </span></span></strong><span><span> </span></span><span><span> </span></span></p> <p class="ecxMsoNormal"><span></span></p> <p class="ecxMsoNormal"><strong><span><span><span>Class 13</span></span></span></strong><strong><span><span><br>How to Fight Cerebral Atrophy--Remembering To Take a List To The Store, Avoiding Separate Trips for Each Item Needed.</span></span></strong><strong><span><span><br></span></span></strong><strong><span><span>Cerebral Shock Therapy Sessions and Full Lobotomies Offered.<br>Three nights; Monday, Wednesday, Friday at 7:00 PM for 2 hours.</span></span></strong><span><span> </span></span><span><span> </span></span></p> <p class="ecxMsoNormal"><span></span></p> <p class="ecxMsoNormal"><strong><span><span><br></span></span></strong><strong><span><span>Upon completion of<span><span> </span></span><span>any</span><span> </span>of the above courses, diplomas will be issued</span></span></strong><span><strong><span><span><span> </span></span></span></strong></span><strong><span><span><span>to the survivors.</span></span></span></strong></p> <p> <small> <a href="http://samslife.blog.co.uk/2009/10/21/women-s-training-class-7219398/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>http://samslife.blog.co.uk/2009/10/21/women-s-training-class-7219398/#commentshttp://samslife.blog.co.uk/2009/10/13/following-nicks-lead-7163668/tag:samslife.blog.co.uk,2009-10-13:/2009/10/13/following-nicks-lead-7163668/Tue, 13 Oct 2009 22:01:22 +0200 <p>Now.</p> <p>What I want you to do is this.</p> <p>Tell all your blog budereenos what your favourite type or/and types of music is....</p> <p>And then tell them all what your favorite song that DOES NOT fit into those categories is.</p> <p>Generally I listen to metal, rock, bluegrass, country and occasionally some alternative music.</p> <p>However, one artist always makes me crank up the volume and the bass.</p> <p>That's: Too Short's Cocktails </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://samslife.blog.co.uk/2009/10/13/following-nicks-lead-7163668/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>memehttp://samslife.blog.co.uk/2009/10/13/following-nicks-lead-7163668/#commentshttp://samslife.blog.co.uk/2009/10/13/they-wonder-why-our-beaches-are-polluted-7163577/tag:samslife.blog.co.uk,2009-10-13:/2009/10/13/they-wonder-why-our-beaches-are-polluted-7163577/Tue, 13 Oct 2009 21:45:30 +0200 <p><em><strong>And If You Swim Every Day, You Never Need to Bathe</strong></em></p> <p><strong>Older rich man:</strong> I stopped using soap back in '74. There's a lot to be said for some hot water and a good scrub.</p> <p>Destin, FL </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://samslife.blog.co.uk/2009/10/13/they-wonder-why-our-beaches-are-polluted-7163577/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>overheard-on-a-beachhttp://samslife.blog.co.uk/2009/10/13/they-wonder-why-our-beaches-are-polluted-7163577/#commentshttp://samslife.blog.co.uk/2009/10/09/the-first-thing-that-came-to-mind-from-soy-s-tweet-7131444/tag:samslife.blog.co.uk,2009-10-09:/2009/10/09/the-first-thing-that-came-to-mind-from-soy-s-tweet-7131444/Fri, 09 Oct 2009 14:17:08 +0200 <p>I don't know why but I thought of this.</p> <p> <small> <a href="http://samslife.blog.co.uk/2009/10/09/the-first-thing-that-came-to-mind-from-soy-s-tweet-7131444/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>crunchy-froghttp://samslife.blog.co.uk/2009/10/09/the-first-thing-that-came-to-mind-from-soy-s-tweet-7131444/#commentshttp://samslife.blog.co.uk/2009/10/08/so-i-know-this-isn-t-nice-but-7124931/tag:samslife.blog.co.uk,2009-10-08:/2009/10/08/so-i-know-this-isn-t-nice-but-7124931/Thu, 08 Oct 2009 14:41:31 +0200 <p>My wife had to have a root canal done yesterday. Her tooth which has been bothering her for quite some time now has finally made it's presence known in full force. I kept telling her for the past several weeks to go to the dentist and get it checked out. She just wanted to wait. Well it got worse and she had to go a oral surgeon to have the root canal done. Shortly after it was done, she called me to say she was on her way home. Which if you've been around anyone who has had one side of their mouth numbed the last sentence I wrote can come across very funny.</p> <p>It came across like this:</p> <p> Hi bave, vy vouth is so thore, I had thou have a roof cammal.</p> <p> A what?</p> <p> I had thou have a roof cammal</p> <p> Sorry sweetheart, I can't understand you (of course while I'm chuckling a little bit to myself)</p> <p> I had thou have a roof cammal you muver fucker</p> <p>So now I'm rolling in my chair, laughing, and I try to tell her I'll see her when I get home so I can get her pain meds. </p> <p>After 30 minutes, I'm home and she's in her chair laying down. I walk in and she starts going at me for being mean to her. Her jaw and tongue are still numb, so you can imagine how everything was coming out.</p> <p>I couldn't help but laugh and she was so animated that it made it funnier. Finally, she gave up and started laughing as well cussing at me.</p> <p>After a bit, things quieted down and I took her to IHOP so she could get pancakes since she needed something soft to eat.</p> <p> <small> <a href="http://samslife.blog.co.uk/2009/10/08/so-i-know-this-isn-t-nice-but-7124931/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>http://samslife.blog.co.uk/2009/10/08/so-i-know-this-isn-t-nice-but-7124931/#commentshttp://samslife.blog.co.uk/2009/10/07/a-little-motorhead-blues-7119267/tag:samslife.blog.co.uk,2009-10-07:/2009/10/07/a-little-motorhead-blues-7119267/Wed, 07 Oct 2009 18:00:11 +0200 <p>Just came across this out of the blue and thought it was pretty good.</p> <p> <small> <a href="http://samslife.blog.co.uk/2009/10/07/a-little-motorhead-blues-7119267/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>motorheadhttp://samslife.blog.co.uk/2009/10/07/a-little-motorhead-blues-7119267/#commentshttp://samslife.blog.co.uk/2009/10/07/note-to-self-7117219/tag:samslife.blog.co.uk,2009-10-07:/2009/10/07/note-to-self-7117219/Wed, 07 Oct 2009 13:31:06 +0200 <p>When you pull a pizza out of the oven and let it cool. </p> <p>Just because the top feels cool doesn't mean that the sauce is not still as hot as lava.</p> <p>So next time give it a couple more minutes and you might not burn the roof of your mouth. </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://samslife.blog.co.uk/2009/10/07/note-to-self-7117219/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>duhhttp://samslife.blog.co.uk/2009/10/07/note-to-self-7117219/#commentshttp://samslife.blog.co.uk/2009/10/06/a-little-late-to-post-7113815/tag:samslife.blog.co.uk,2009-10-06:/2009/10/06/a-little-late-to-post-7113815/Tue, 06 Oct 2009 22:28:12 +0200 <p>Since I have been rather busy as of late and not much time to blog I thought I'd fill you in on my weekend. </p> <p>On Saturday, I went over to a friends house about 90 miles away to work dogs. I had a great time and it truly felt wonderful to get to do some actual farm work again. We started off fixing some electric fence for his mules. Something spooked them the other night and they ran through it or deer knocked it down which is possible too. So after an hour of walking the line to tighten it up, we checked it and put the mules back in the pasture. We watched as they slowly crept up to the fence and one was brave enough to touch it. We heard a loud hee-haw and suddenly all the horses were back into the dry lot. That proved that it worked, so that's enough for us.</p> <p>We then set out to get all of the plastic panels from the winter field and move them into the summer field where the sheep have been grazing. The first thing we had to do was separate the lambs from the ewes. We gathered the flock and moved them into the sorting pens. Once we got the lambs sorted, since they needed to be completely weaned by us and not just by their mom, we moved them onto the summer field. Lambs are great for training on with experienced dogs. They are flighty and much more nimble than their parents. You can really learn a lot about pressure points and when you've become accustomed to over flanking your dog. So, we got all of the panels set back up and went to work our dogs for a little bit.</p> <p>Here is a picture of the summer field.</p> <p><a href="javascript:window.open(" title="Wyatt and Spot"><img src="http://data6.blog.de/media/223/3975223_5f8373ca68_m.jpeg" alt="Wyatt and Spot"></a> </p> <p>This is my friends son Wyatt with his dog Spot. If you look through the panels towards the trees you can barely make out the figure of a man. That's where the sheep were. It's a pretty big course and his trial in the spring draws a large crowd from all over the U.S. and Canada. I sent my dog out there 8 times and then I took over duty to set the sheep out, so away I went on the quad bike. </p> <p>We did that till lunch time, then after that we started putting up panels to give the sheep a shelter area. Which if you look at the picture again, those tee post closest to me are where we put the panels up at as right behind me was the lambing shed.</p> <p>While I helped put up panels and helped with some of the chores around there, Wyatt was busy mowing down some of the excess weeds that had accumulated. </p> <p>After that we worked dogs again.</p> <p>It was truly a great day and I loved it.</p> <p> <small> <a href="http://samslife.blog.co.uk/2009/10/06/a-little-late-to-post-7113815/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>i-miss-farm-lifehttp://samslife.blog.co.uk/2009/10/06/a-little-late-to-post-7113815/#commentshttp://samslife.blog.co.uk/2009/10/01/marital-courtesy-7079221/tag:samslife.blog.co.uk,2009-10-01:/2009/10/01/marital-courtesy-7079221/Thu, 01 Oct 2009 19:09:00 +0200 <p>Going to a friends farm on Saturday to work some sheep and help him out. It's been a while since I've been able to get out and truly work dogs in a more natural setting. They've got ~ 150 ewes and while he ran them through the chutes a couple of weeks ago before the Sheepdog Finals he needs them sorted before lambing. </p> <p>Needless to say I'm very excited and then I told my wife my plans. She just looked at me and said "why are you asking me for permission?" </p> <p>I said "I'm just letting you know of what I'd like to do in case you had something else planned."</p> <p>She just gave me a puzzled look and said "go ahead."</p> <p>Then she started giving me all kinds of hell for asking. I just laughed.</p> <p>Later we went to her parents house to have dinner where she started to give me hell about it again, making jokes and then her parents stepped in and started giving her hell.</p> <p>What goes around comes around, I guess. They supported me in my actions and told her she could stand to learn a few things about common courtesy when dealing with your significant other. "You are married now" her mother said.</p> <p>I just smiled and asked her to pass the butter.</p> <p><img src="/img/smilies/icon_smile.gif" alt=":)" class="middle" border="0"> </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://samslife.blog.co.uk/2009/10/01/marital-courtesy-7079221/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>isnt-married-life-blisshttp://samslife.blog.co.uk/2009/10/01/marital-courtesy-7079221/#commentshttp://samslife.blog.co.uk/2009/09/28/oktoberfest-in-the-heartland-7055236/tag:samslife.blog.co.uk,2009-09-28:/2009/09/28/oktoberfest-in-the-heartland-7055236/Mon, 28 Sep 2009 14:41:59 +0200 <p>On Saturday the misses and I joined some friends and we drove to a small suburb of Kansas City, MO to partake in Oktoberfest. This little festival was quite the let down. Apparently, due to budget cuts, the big one they have in Riverside got canceled. It left us with this one. </p> <p>First the beer wasn't bad, but they where all made by American Brewery's <img src="/img/smilies/icon_sad.gif" alt=":(" class="middle" border="0">. So I felt a little cheated and there was only two beers to really chose from. Second, they had square dancers and people clogging as well as cheerleader competitions. Plus vendors that had absolutely nothing to do with Germany or even being German. It was really sad.</p> <p>The absolute worst part was using Johnsonville store bought Brats as the main food dish with canned sauerkraut. That was it. No strudels, Würstel, Knödeln and even Weisswurst. </p> <p>At least there was a German band playing in one of the tents that made it worth it. They where really good and we were dancing and having a good time. So we all had one last beer and left to eat a Japanese Steak house. I needed some fish on a stick or Steckerlfisch as it's called, only mine was in the raw form. Granted, I used some of this fish for bait down in Florida, but when you put it over sushi rice it suddenly becomes worth $2 a piece. </p> <p>I hope this economy turns around so we can have a right proper Oktoberfest next year. </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://samslife.blog.co.uk/2009/09/28/oktoberfest-in-the-heartland-7055236/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>not-like-grandmas-oktoberfesthttp://samslife.blog.co.uk/2009/09/28/oktoberfest-in-the-heartland-7055236/#commentshttp://samslife.blog.co.uk/2009/09/23/my-florida-trip-7026758/tag:samslife.blog.co.uk,2009-09-23:/2009/09/23/my-florida-trip-7026758/Wed, 23 Sep 2009 19:36:29 +0200 <p>The trip was amazing!!!!! We touched down at Tampa International Airport, noon eastern time on Tuesday and headed right over to the car rental place. Once we got to the counter they immediately offered us an upgrade to a convertible. Seriously, you really can't go driving along the coast in a stuff hardtop, right. So we got the car, got the top down and away we went cruising down the interstate towards the little island of St. Pete Beach. Once we got through all the traffic, we made it to our hotel <a href="http://www.miramarbeachresort.com/.">http://www.miramarbeachresort.com/.</a> This was the first time that I've ever been there and I must say that is a really nice place to stay. Our room had a little fridge, microwave and the grill was right outside our door. Of course there is always a bad side and that is that it is cheek to cheek with hotels down there and the one next to us was being completely renovated so M-F we had to listen to them. </p> <p>The real purpose of our trip down there was to get married on the beach at sunset! Yes married. </p> <p>We both wanted a small private ceremony with just immediate family. So her parents were there along with her cousins who begged to come and they gave us such nice gifts that we couldn't and wouldn't say no and then there were my parents. Plus we had the Best Man of Honor! He pulled dual service that day. There was no rehearsal or anything like that and we arrived there the day before. That night we had some great seafood and lots of drinks.</p> <p>Wednesday the 9th. The big day was actually calm and quiet for the most part. Got up around 7, brewed some coffee, and then we joined the others out in the pool area to watch the dolphins go by. Even living in Houston and taking trips down to Galveston I've never seen any dolphins so they were pretty neat to watch, especially the young ones. After about an hour they moved on, we put on our tanning lotion and went to the beach with our chairs and just hung out. It was really nice and relaxing. After about an hour we went back to the room and started drinking. It's really weird opening a beer at 10:00 in the morning, but we had a Scottish couple and their grand kids down there as well, so we figured it was 3:00 p.m. in Glasgow so it was alright by me and them. That's were we stayed till 3:00 in the afternoon were I went in, got my shower, shaved and got dressed so my new bride could have the room all to herself. At 6:50 the photographer showed up and the officiant to do the ceremony and away we went down the beach. The ceremony lasted all of 10 minutes and we drew quite a crowd. People stopped on the beach that were walking by and watched, except for one stupid fucking bicyclist. Yes Nick, there fucking assholes over here too and if I wasn't holding my wife's hands I'd knocked the fucker off his bike for being so disrespectful. So I just let it go and enjoyed the party that was coming afterward.</p> <p>The reception was nice and we invited everyone at the hotel to come and partake of the festivities. The Best Man of Honor was nice enough to go and by a blender while he was there and made Pina` Coladas for us to drink with our meal. The best thing about this blender is that it had a spout on it. So there are several pictures of me filling my wifes mouth directly from the pitcher and she didn't get anything on her dress. By about 1:00 in the morning we finally called it a night and everyone was thoroughly liquored up. No one got to randy and everyone had a good time.</p> <p>The next morning we woke up to do the same thing over again, just a little later in the morning, so we missed the dolphins, but that was ok. To be honest we didn't do a damn thing while we where down there but sit back, relax and enjoy each other and the company around us. I know have a great tan and the only thing I did do was was go fishing with the Scotland McGregor Clan that was there, more on that latter.</p> <p>I will try to post some pics later. </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://samslife.blog.co.uk/2009/09/23/my-florida-trip-7026758/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>floridahttp://samslife.blog.co.uk/2009/09/23/my-florida-trip-7026758/#commentshttp://samslife.blog.co.uk/2009/09/23/a-little-farmers-advice-7024703/tag:samslife.blog.co.uk,2009-09-23:/2009/09/23/a-little-farmers-advice-7024703/Wed, 23 Sep 2009 14:05:27 +0200 <p><span><span>Your fences need to be horse-high, pig-tight and bull-strong.<br> Keep skunks and bankers at a distance.<br> Life is simpler when you plow around the stump.<br> A bumble bee is considerably faster than a John Deere tractor.<br> Words that soak into your ears are whispered...not yelled.<br> Meanness don't jes' happen overnight.<br> Forgive your enemies. It messes up their heads.<br> Do not corner something that you know is meaner than you.<br> It don't take a very big person to carry a grudge.<br> You cannot unsay a cruel word.<br> When you wallow with pigs, expect to get dirty.<br> The best sermons are lived, not preached.<br> Don't judge folks by their relatives.<br> Remember that silence is sometimes the best answer.<br> Live a good, honorable life. Then, when you get older and think back, you'll enjoy it a second time.<br> Don't interfere with somethin' that ain't botherin you none.<br> Timing has a lot to do with the outcome of a Rain dance.<br> If you find yourself in a hole, the first thing to do is stop diggin'.<br> Sometimes you get, and sometimes you get got.<br> The biggest troublemaker you'll probably ever have to deal with, watches you from the mirror every mornin'.<br> Always drink upstream from the herd.<br> Lettin' the cat outta the bag is a whole lot easier than puttin' it back in.<br> If you get to thinkin' you're a person of some influence, try orderin' somebody else's dog around.<br> Live simply. Love generously. Care deeply. Speak kindly. Leave the rest to God.<br> Don't pick a fight with an old man. If he's too old to fight, he'll just kill you...</span></span></p> <p> <small> <a href="http://samslife.blog.co.uk/2009/09/23/a-little-farmers-advice-7024703/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>advicehttp://samslife.blog.co.uk/2009/09/23/a-little-farmers-advice-7024703/#commentshttp://samslife.blog.co.uk/2009/09/22/i-m-back-7016389/tag:samslife.blog.co.uk,2009-09-22:/2009/09/22/i-m-back-7016389/Tue, 22 Sep 2009 13:29:55 +0200 <p>Had a great time in Florida, got a great tan, drank lots of beer and it was an exciting trip. I'll fill you in a little later when I have more time.</p> <p>Till then...</p> <p> <small> <a href="http://samslife.blog.co.uk/2009/09/22/i-m-back-7016389/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>back-to-the-grindhttp://samslife.blog.co.uk/2009/09/22/i-m-back-7016389/#commentshttp://samslife.blog.co.uk/2009/09/08/be-back-in-2-weeks-6916942/tag:samslife.blog.co.uk,2009-09-07:/2009/09/08/be-back-in-2-weeks-6916942/Tue, 08 Sep 2009 00:45:41 +0200 <p>Hi all,<br> I'm on Holiday for 2 weeks in sunny Florida right on the beach. Staying at a nice self catering place where I can watch the sunset every night from the lounge chairs on the beach.</p> <p>I'll talk to ya'll when I get back.</p> <p> <small> <a href="http://samslife.blog.co.uk/2009/09/08/be-back-in-2-weeks-6916942/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>http://samslife.blog.co.uk/2009/09/08/be-back-in-2-weeks-6916942/#commentshttp://samslife.blog.co.uk/2009/09/02/tossed-and-turned-6875485/tag:samslife.blog.co.uk,2009-09-02:/2009/09/02/tossed-and-turned-6875485/Wed, 02 Sep 2009 13:26:47 +0200 <p>Is what my girlfriend did last night. We got a call from our Realtor about the house at 9:00 and since we she is somewhat stressed at the moment with everything going on, it wasn't the best news in the world. Just more you'll have to wait and see crap. So she was tossing and turning last night, pulling the covers and talking in her sleep. If only sex calmed her down, we would have been at it every hour where she could have slept due to exhaustion. </p> <p>Makes for a long night!</p> <p>So I'm extremely tired. Thankfully it's Wednesday. </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://samslife.blog.co.uk/2009/09/02/tossed-and-turned-6875485/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>http://samslife.blog.co.uk/2009/09/02/tossed-and-turned-6875485/#commentshttp://samslife.blog.co.uk/2009/08/31/finally-moved-6860109/tag:samslife.blog.co.uk,2009-08-31:/2009/08/31/finally-moved-6860109/Mon, 31 Aug 2009 13:49:59 +0200 <p>While it was not where I really wanted to move into, I did get all moved in on Sunday and now I'm still tired and sore. Even though I went to bed at 9:00 last night and slept well, this morning came way to early. </p> <p>It's amazing how much shit you have when you pile it all together.</p> <p> <small> <a href="http://samslife.blog.co.uk/2009/08/31/finally-moved-6860109/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>movinghttp://samslife.blog.co.uk/2009/08/31/finally-moved-6860109/#commentshttp://samslife.blog.co.uk/2009/08/25/fall-men-s-class-6819629/tag:samslife.blog.co.uk,2009-08-25:/2009/08/25/fall-men-s-class-6819629/Tue, 25 Aug 2009 16:54:55 +0200 <p><strong><span><span>Fall Classes for Men</span></span></strong> <strong><span><span><br> @</span></span></strong><span><span> </span></span><strong><span><span> the<br> ADULT LEARNING CENTER</span></span></strong><strong><span><span></p> <p> REGISTRATION MUST BE COMPLETED</span></span></strong> <strong><span><span></p> <p> By Thursday August 27th, 2009</span></span></strong><strong><span><span></p> <p> NOTE: DUE TO THE COMPLEXITY AND DIFFICULTY LEVEL<br> OF THEIR CONTENTS, CLASS SIZES WILL BE LIMITED TO 8 PARTICIPANTS MAXIMUM</span></span></strong><span><span> </span></span><strong><span><span></p> <p> Class 1</span></span></strong><strong><span><span><br> How To Fill Up The Ice Cube Trays--Step by Step, with Slide Presentation.</span></span></strong><span><span> </span></span><strong><span><span><br> Meets 4 weeks, Monday and Wednesday for 2 hours beginning at 7:00 PM.</span></span></strong> <strong><span><span><br> </span></span></strong> <strong><span><span><br> Class 2</span></span></strong><strong><span><span> <br> The Toilet Paper Roll--Does It Change Itself?</span></span></strong><span><span> </span></span><strong><span><span><br> Round Table Discussion.</span></span></strong><span><span> </span></span><strong><span><span><br> Meets 2 weeks, Saturday 12:00 for 2 hours.</span></span></strong> <strong><span><span><br> </span></span></strong><strong><span><span> </span></span></strong><strong><span><span><br> Class 3</span></span></strong><strong><span><span> <br> Is It Possible To Urinate Using The Technique Of Lifting The Seat and Avoiding The Floor, Walls and Nearby Bathtub?--Group Practice </span></span></strong><strong><span><span><br> Meets 4 weeks, Saturday 10:00 PM for 2 hours.</span></span></strong> <strong><span><span><br> </span></span></strong><strong><span><span> </span></span></strong><strong><span><span><br> Class 4</span></span></strong><strong><span><span> <br> Fundamental Differences Between The Laundry Hamper and The Floor--Pictures and Explanatory Graphics..</span></span></strong><strong><span><span> <br> Meets Saturdays at 2:00 PM for 3 weeks.</span></span></strong> <strong><span><span><br> </span></span></strong> <strong><span><span><br> Class 5</span></span></strong><strong><span><span> <br> Dinner Dishes--Can They Levitate and Fly Into The Kitchen Sink?<br> Examples on Video.</span></span></strong><strong><span><span> <br> Meets 4 weeks, Tuesday and Thursday for 2 hours beginning <br> At 7:00 PM</span></span></strong> <strong><span><span><br> </span></span></strong><strong><span><span> </span></span></strong><strong><span><span><br> Class 6</span></span></strong><strong><span><span> <br> Loss Of Identity--Losing The Remote To Your Significant Other.<br> Help Line Support and Support Groups.</span></span></strong><strong><span><span> <br> Meets 4 Weeks, Friday and Sunday 7:00 PM</span></span></strong> <strong><span><span><br> </span></span></strong> <strong><span><span><br> Class 7</span></span></strong><strong><span><span> <br> Learning How To Find Things--Starting With Looking In The Right Places And Not Turning The House Upside Down While Screaming.<br> Open Forum </span></span></strong><strong><span><span><br> Monday at 8:00 PM, 2 hours.</span></span></strong> <strong><span><span><br> </span></span></strong><strong><span><span> </span></span></strong><strong><span><span><br> Class 8</span></span></strong><strong><span><span> <br> Health Watch--Bringing Her Flowers Is Not Harmful To Your Health.<br> Graphics and Audio Tapes.</span></span></strong><strong><span><span> <br> Three nights; Monday, Wednesday, Friday at 7:00 PM for 2 hours.</span></span></strong> <strong><span><span><br> </span></span></strong><strong><span><span> </span></span></strong><strong><span><span><br> Class 9</span></span></strong><strong><span><span> <br> Real Men Ask For Directions When Lost--Real Life Testimonials.</span></span></strong><strong><span><span> <br> Tuesdays at 6:00 PM Location to be determined</span></span></strong> <strong><span><span><br> </span></span></strong><strong><span><span> </span></span></strong><strong><span><span><br> Class 10</span></span></strong><strong><span><span> <br> Is It Genetically Impossible To Sit Quietly While She Parallel Parks?<br> Driving Simulations.</span></span></strong><strong><span><span> <br> 4 weeks, Saturday's noon, 2 hours.</span></span></strong> <strong><span><span><br> </span></span></strong> <strong><span><span><br> Class 11</span></span></strong><strong><span><span> <br> Learning to Live--Basic Differences Between Mother and Wife.<br> Online Classes and role-playing</span></span></strong><strong><span><span> <br> Tuesdays at 7:00 PM, location to be determined</span></span></strong> <strong><span><span><br> </span></span></strong><strong><span><span> </span></span></strong><strong><span><span><br> Class 12</span></span></strong><strong><span><span> <br> How to be the Ideal Shopping Companion<br> Relaxation Exercises, Meditation and Breathing Techniques.</span></span></strong><strong><span><span> <br> Meets 4 weeks, Tuesday and Thursday for 2 hours beginning at 7:00 PM.</span></span></strong> <strong><span><span><br> </span></span></strong><strong><span><span> </span></span></strong><strong><span><span><br> Class 13</span></span></strong><strong><span><span> <br> How to Fight Cerebral Atrophy--Remembering Birthdays, Anniversaries and Other Important Dates and Calling When You're Going To Be Late. </span></span></strong><strong><span><span><br> Cerebral Shock Therapy Sessions and Full Lobotomies Offered.<br> Three nights; Monday, Wednesday, Friday at 7:00 PM for 2 hours.</span></span></strong> <strong><span><span><br> </span></span></strong><strong><span><span> </span></span></strong><strong><span><span><br> Class 14</span></span></strong><strong><span><span> <br> The Stove/Oven--What It Is and How It Is Used.<br> Live Demonstration.</span></span></strong><strong><span><span> <br> Tuesdays at 6:00 PM, location to be determined.</span></span></strong> <br> <strong><span><span><br> </span></span></strong> <strong><span><span><br> Upon completion of<span> any</span> of the above courses, diplomas will be issued <span>to the survivors.</span></span></span></strong> </p> <p> <strong><span><span></p> <p> Send this to all the guys that you think can stand the heat, </span></span></strong><strong><span><span> </span></span></strong> <strong><span><span><br> And to all the ladies for the best chuckle of their day! </span></span></strong></p> <p> <small> <a href="http://samslife.blog.co.uk/2009/08/25/fall-men-s-class-6819629/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>http://samslife.blog.co.uk/2009/08/25/fall-men-s-class-6819629/#commentshttp://samslife.blog.co.uk/2009/08/24/a-monday-funny-6809795/tag:samslife.blog.co.uk,2009-08-24:/2009/08/24/a-monday-funny-6809795/Mon, 24 Aug 2009 16:02:09 +0200 <p>The Pope and Nancy Pelosi were on the same stage in front of a huge<br> crowd. The Pope said, "Did you know that with just one little wave of MY<br> hand I can make EVERY person in the crowd go crazy with joy? This joy will<br> not be a momentary display like that of your subjects, but will go deep into<br> their hearts, and they will forever speak of this day and rejoice."<br> Pelosi seriously doubts this, and says, "One little wave of your<br> hand, and all people will rejoice forever?? Show me", she said. </p> <p>....so the Pope slapped her </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://samslife.blog.co.uk/2009/08/24/a-monday-funny-6809795/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>jokefunnyhttp://samslife.blog.co.uk/2009/08/24/a-monday-funny-6809795/#commentshttp://samslife.blog.co.uk/2009/08/19/the-things-kids-come-up-with-6761030/tag:samslife.blog.co.uk,2009-08-19:/2009/08/19/the-things-kids-come-up-with-6761030/Wed, 19 Aug 2009 18:42:40 +0200 <p>My Gf's friend is 8.5 months pregnant and her 3 year old boy came up to her and asked </p> <p>"Mom, when's little Mackenzie gonna arrive. You told me she'd be here in August. Well it's August and no Mac." </p> <p>"Well she'll be here hopefully at the end of the month," she said.</p> <p>"Ok, well how's she gonna get out?"</p> <p>"Uhm, she just comes out my body"</p> <p>"Where?"</p> <p>"Where do you think son"</p> <p>"Your belly?"</p> <p>"A little lower"</p> <p>"At your knees, that's silly mommy"</p> <p>"A little higher, she comes out my privates"</p> <p>"*puzzled look*, what you got a trap door down there mommy?"</p> <p>"Ah, yeah, a trap door, that's it"</p> <p>"Ok, can I go play know?"</p> <p> <small> <a href="http://samslife.blog.co.uk/2009/08/19/the-things-kids-come-up-with-6761030/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>kidshttp://samslife.blog.co.uk/2009/08/19/the-things-kids-come-up-with-6761030/#commentshttp://samslife.blog.co.uk/2009/08/17/what-a-friday-i-had-again-6746367/tag:samslife.blog.co.uk,2009-08-17:/2009/08/17/what-a-friday-i-had-again-6746367/Mon, 17 Aug 2009 19:09:35 +0200 <p>It started off with one of my GF's friends getting us a room at one of the local casino's for the night to join with a few friends and basically just party, hit the casino floor, eat, drink and be merry. We arrived around 6, got our stuff in the room, waited for a few more friends to show up, then hit the diner downstairs for their famous chicken fried steak. It was massive! Of course we were being loud and obnoxious and just having a good time. Yet no one asked us to leave and it seamed that the place was in good spirits. After dinner we headed up to the room, had some drinks and generally had a good time getting slightly drunk and horsing around. After a couple of hours we hit the casino floor. With the beer in my system, lets just say my judgment was slightly impaired, so while I was up a hundred dollars I just kept on playing instead of cashing out and putting in another $20. After a couple of hours of playing the slot machines, we met up with some friends back at diner we were just in. As we all walked back in, the wait staff just rolled their eyes and mumbled "oh shit." We kept things pretty cool then and after our friends finished dinner we all headed back up to the room for more booze. </p> <p>Unfortunately, that's about all I remember till about 5:30 in the morning when my GF started rubbing up against me <img src="/img/smilies/icon_twisted.gif" alt=":>" class="middle" border="0">. So that morning after a little extra exercise <img src="/img/smilies/icon_mrgreen.gif" alt=":>>" class="middle" border="0">, we all got stirred around and went down to the diner for breakfast. It should be noted that this diner is now closed and Sunday was it's last day of business. So what did we do, we did the ultra glutinous thing of getting chicken fried steak with eggs for breakfast, yes it really was that good. After that we hit the casino again and I should say they hit us. We lost our ass on Saturday. Not much happened the rest of the weekend, just spent it trying to recover from Friday.</p> <p> <small> <a href="http://samslife.blog.co.uk/2009/08/17/what-a-friday-i-had-again-6746367/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>http://samslife.blog.co.uk/2009/08/17/what-a-friday-i-had-again-6746367/#commentshttp://samslife.blog.co.uk/2009/08/13/i-m-finally-an-uncle-6715794/tag:samslife.blog.co.uk,2009-08-13:/2009/08/13/i-m-finally-an-uncle-6715794/Thu, 13 Aug 2009 12:50:03 +0200 <p>Yes, my brother and his wife had the first child last night. I'm really happy for them although the baby came really early, she was actually due Sept. 9th. She's only 5 lbs 4 oz. and came by C-section. Both mother and child are doing good. I won't post pics yet, cause lets be honest, hour old baby pics are not that cute no matter whose kid it is. I'll wait till I can get some when she's a little older. <img src="/img/smilies/icon_biggrin.gif" alt=":D" class="middle" border="0"> </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://samslife.blog.co.uk/2009/08/13/i-m-finally-an-uncle-6715794/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>my-niecehttp://samslife.blog.co.uk/2009/08/13/i-m-finally-an-uncle-6715794/#comments