It's one of my co-workers last day today and a group of 12 went out to eat lunch. Obviously his was paid for and whatever he ordered by the company. So he graced this party of 12 with 3 large combination platter appetizers that included calamari, stuffed mushrooms and onion rings. After partaking of the nice appetizer our lunch came out. I had a nice salad with a cilantro lime vinaigrette and fish with chips. It's been several hours since I've ate and I'm still stuffed, still miserable, and still bloody tired!

Later on tonight I have a wedding to go to. Free drinks, snack food and the worst thing ever created; wedding cake!

If I don't die of gluttony today it's because God wants to punish me later.

Boobs vs. Willies

A family is at the dinner table. The son asks his father, 'Dad, how many kinds of boobs are there?'

The father, surprised, answers, 'Well, son, a woman goes through three phases. In her 20s, a woman's boobs are like melons, round and firm. In her 30s to 40s, they are like pears, still nice but hanging a bit. After 50, they are like onions'. 'Onions?'

'Yes, you see them and they make you cry.'

This infuriated his wife and daughter, so the daughter said, 'Mom, how

many kinds of 'willies' are there?' The mother, surprised, smiles and answers, 'Well dear, a man goes through three phases also. In his 20s, his willy is like an oak tree, mighty and hard. In his 30s and 40s, it is like a birch, flexible but reliable. After his 50s, it is like a Christmas tree'.

'A Christmas tree?' 'Yes --- dead from the root up and the balls are just for decoration.

I can honestly say that I rarely ever go to the home page of Blog.co.uk simply because I like to look over friends post and then I meet new friends from current friends, a.k.a. networking. However, much to my surprise I actually clicked the home button and low and behold I made the featured blog. I know, I know some of you have a permanent spot on the home page, but this truly made my day.

Go me!

Yes Juzzy, I realize your above me.

Whats your name backwards?
Leumas

Name some lines from the song you are listening to?
We've been to counciling
To try and see the ways we could improve
This thing between us
And different ways to show each other "I love you"
Forget about those getaway vacations
To romantic coastal towns
If you want to say "I love you"
Then put that toilet seat down

Gay or Straight?
Straight.

What goes on your toast?
Grandmas Jelly.

What's the seventh text message in your inbox say?
Call the guy about Kip.

Has someone groped you in the past week?
This morning actually.

Lily Allen or Kate Nash?
Can I have both, at once .

Last person to call you babe?
Girlfriend.

I say ‘Jump!’, you say?
"Huh".

Whats the top played song on your MP3 player?
Chris LeDoux - Riding for a fall.

Who did you last hold hands with?
Jenn.

Who would you like to meet?
Gotta to go with Nick on this one - Ditta Von Tease. She would ignore me of course but, ya know.

Funniest thing that happened today?
Listening to the radio excerpt where a guy calls the police cause he's stoned on brownies and thinks he's gonna die.

Are you insane?
I reserve the right not to incriminate myself.

Whats on your bedside table?
Alarm clock.

How many piercings do you have?
Zero

Whats one of your favourite quotes?
"Fewer things are harder to put up with than annoyance of a good example"

Have you ever kissed anyone who's name started with a S or N?
Nope

Is this year the best year of your life?
So far it's been pretty good, I'll have to let you know.

Ninjas or Pirates?
Do I look f%^king Japanese.

Where do you want to go right now?
HOME!

Who do you want to go with?
There are a few bloggers who shall remain nameless.

Do you hate My Chemical Romance?
Nope, got to have someone to laugh at.

What do you want from life?
To be at peace.

When did you last do sex?
I can say I did it this morning, can't say I have ever done sex.

What's your nickname and why?
Smitty, just came up with it one day.

Anything written on your hand?
Nope

Could you run the Country?
I wouldn't even want to try.

What are your favourite names?
Cooper and panhandle.

Have you ever punched a hole in the wall?
yes

Name a good song.
Glycerine.

Where's your sister?
At work in Houston, managing a construction crew to build a church.

Have you got balls?
Yes, and someone likes to roll them around.

How would you react if someone kissed you right now?
Wouldn't bother me.

Wheres the weirdest place you’ve peed?
Off the side of a semi truck in New York City because a) we couldn't stop in the traffic and b) there's nowhere to park a semi there.

Are you scared of Cows?
Not in the least.

Anything else to add?
I need more coffee.

I've been looking over my post as of late and noticed that their all humor. It's not that things have been funny and uplifting it's that life has really gotten down right shitty for me and a lot of others on here as well. At least I can say that I'm not having work issues other than them trying to cram more work onto me, but then again, their also paying me for it.

This Friday will be my mentor and friends last day here at work. After 15 years (3 of which I've known him), he has decided that he needs to go elsewhere to have sanity and peace in his life. This is also who's responsibilities I will be taking over. This does make me a little sad and even a little scared because I now have to play politician and juggle both engineering and sales and you can't make them both happy at the same time.

I need to go work dogs and check on the sheep to make sure everyone is doing alright. That's what makes my life complete and I think we should all find what works best for us. Seriously people, I only work in the city to support my hobbies in the country and that's it.

Leaving a sushi bar last night at a local mall and came across this.