I think there would have to be a lot wrong with the physical relationship one was in to leave for just emotional reasons. To have been turned on so much by just words that one would leave shows a deeper problem. And no I wouldn't do it. I can however see the draw and the danger of a purely emotional affair, I have allowed myself to get drawn into chat on a screen with a particular person before, and wanted to meet that person. But i wouldn't endanger what I have in reality to chase a dream.

This is probably going to sound very naive but I wouldn't leave Kathy whatever I might feel for another person. Emotionally, physically, or otherly. My marriage is for life. No matter what! I guess I'm old fashioned that way. James.

I'm kinda thinking these people that rang in are probably 40 plus, unhappy in their relationship and the only saving grace in their mundane lives is the computer. Thus any new friends they meet is exciting, new and a welcome change. I blame friends reunited! lol but if I can impart any advice it would be this: A famous french novelist once said "anticipation was the purest form of pleasure and the most reliable and while the things that actually happened to you would invariably disappoint, the things that never happen to you would never dim, never fade." I think that say's it all really.

As you said I don't think any relationship can work without all aspects. I get the impression a lot of people who would end their relationship for someone else are quite possibly scared of being alone rather than trully committing to that other person. The emotional connection has to be a large part of the basis for a successful relationship but without the sexual connection taking intimacy to the next level surely it's just a friendship?! It's like a Cosmopolitan without the cranberry juice.

lmao nice metaphor!

blondiebear07 seems to have summed it up really. And James is so sweet. That said, he is still young, but i won't give a cynical older persons view here. Enjoy it James, just make Kathy feel as loved as you obviously love her.

I also agree with you, SJ, and Blondie. Emotions are very important but are not enough to build the basis of a long-lasting partnership.

And I'll try to find the time tomorrow to read some of your older postings in order to catch up with what's been going on in your life recently.

Have a good night tonight (without alcohol!!)

Hmm. Big question.

The thing is that I am female and females live more by emotions and instincts than what men do. Its a hormone thing.

I guess it would depend on how unhappy I felt in my marriage. At the moment things are quite good, but my marriage is one of those that has very up ups and very down downs.

I sometimes think I am more emotionally attached to my best mate than my Hubby, but I definately wouldn't leave him for her.

I'm gonna leave it as an open verdict for now!!

"I feel that marriages/long-term-relationships are based on the spiritual, physical and emotional involvement in another person and all three need to be there for a healthy relationship"

When you say spiritual do you mean religious? I don't believe that a couple have to share the samew belief (or lack of it) in order to have a good relationship, and I certainly don't feel that any religious belief is a necessity for a happy, fulfilled life.

Just to add a bit more. Probably the person I'm closest to emotionally is an ex-colleague, we see so many thngs the same way its just great being with her, and while I also find her sexaully attractive I would never be tempted to live with her, I just wouldn't see it working

when your the one being left out in the emotional affair, it hurts as if cheating, your partner shares your most deep trusted secrets with the new desire, she know his every want and need, he should tell the partner these things, they may need the conversation too. He (they) Make plans for movies, dates, dinners etc, how does it feel to sleep with him and then he's picking her up for a day of shopping, but we're just friend, your jealous, get a grip. Nope, I just can't stand being at home wanting to be with him,and he's with her. so what to do?

i have been in a relationship for 6 years and just recently found out that my bf for 6 years is emotionally involved with one of my best friends who also shares those feelings. Since i've found out, my bf and i have broken up. i am totally crushed and heart broken. They now are both pursuing to move futher into this relationship eventhough my bf and i just broke up. They have decided to leave me hanging dry. i have decided i didnt want them in life but it hurts to think of them together especially because i trusted them so much. for both to betray me as they did seems impossible to move forward.

My husband had an emotional affair with a co-worker. Lunches together, lots of travelling for work, text messages, etc. They also shared one kiss and nothing more. He then ended it and told me. For us this has been extemely damaging, because my husband is an introvert. I know what friendships mean to him - they are deep and take lots of time and nurturing to develop. So if he had a friendship with another woman it was something special that he wanted and worked for. If he were an extrovert with dozens of friends it would be far easier to recover from. Also, a one night stand at a drunken party would be far easier to overcome. The emotional stuff is far worse than anything physical that could have happened. I'm far more upset about their relationship than the one kiss they shared. Will I recover? I don't know. It's been three months and I still feel like the wind has been knocked out of me. He professes his love for me and has been wonderful through the whole thing, but I don't know that it's enough to undo the damage.