I thought so - but no! I think I found out to my cost!

I can see whys she feels threatened. Turn it around and ask yourself the same question.

And i think men and women can be good friends as long as theres not an attraction with either of them

I think there has to be an attraction at some point. Depending on how much you love your wife you don't want feelings to just come out of nowhere and bite you on the ass. Trust me!!

Also notice how you talk about each of them. You're so nice about your friend but refer to your wife as 'loving/jealous'. Remember you know your wife better and therefore see (and love) her negative points. But a bad day and a sympathetic ear provided by your friend could spell trouble.

p.s would you be comfortable if it was vice versa?

i don't think it can ever work, so you're right to back out of the friendship, sad though that must be for you.
best wishes.

Oh, I'm too late. Everyone's said the obvious. My wife recently had an ex boyfriend visit. It drove me mad. Never again. The risks are too great. James.

A big fat NO is the answer your looking for, the reason? Talking from my own experience I became intimately involved with a male friend after 2 years friendship (the copious amt of vodka didnt help matters)we were putting the worlds to rights one night and one thing led to another, we never became a couple just 'friends with benefits) which in the end wasn't healthy for either of us and in the process I ended up having his child. We're still friends weirdly enough (just about anyhow). My advice is even if you have no intention of taking it further, one night you and kathy might have a major bust up and you end up seeking solace in this female friend and it's normally when people are at an emotional low let their guard down. So Still stay friends by all means but you have to draw the line about what is appropriate and what isn't.

I'd say yes. There was someone that I knew since we were kids. We could talk to each other about ANYTHING. He was very unlucky in love, always seeming to pick the wrong ladies. He'd often come around and we'd share a bottle of wine whilst discussing our latest grievances or playing a game of Scrabble.

He'd often stay overnight due to being unable to get home, but it was like having a member of the family stay. We even once discussed whether we thought we'd ever become anything more than friends to which we both agreed that thinking about each other in a 'more than friends' way was akin to being illegal!! Almost like trying to imagine what it would be like 'being' with someone you were related to. Yeuch!!

One day he came to me with news that he'd met 'the one'. He said "Honestly J, you'll love her, she's just so wonderful!" I was REALLY pleased for him because if anyone deserved to be happy, it was him. She eventually went on to become his wife.

Unfortunately, she wasn't comfortable with our friendship, and eventually, because they changed location a number of times, and BECAUSE I felt wary calling him out of respect of the way she felt, we lost contact.

Although (in my experience) I beleive that men and women can be platonic friends without any hanky-panky intervening, the influence of their partners can have a destructive effect on these types of relationships.

To sum, I think that men and women can have great plantonic friendships but only if they are both unattached - otherwise it will only serve to cause problems all around.

I think it depends on the completeness of the marraige. Most relationships have bits of the jigsaw missing, but we make do. However if someone comes along who has those missing bits then we're bound to feel that they "complete" us. The danger is to feel that they would do that if the original partner wasn't filling in their part of the jigsaw.

That's not the same as finding that someone is is the exact jigsaw match for you - that's pretty damn rare.