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  • A Rooster Tail!

    John was in the fertilized egg business.

    He had several hundred young layers (hens), called 'pullets,' and ten roosters to fertilize the eggs.

    He kept records, and any rooster not performing went into the soup pot and was replaced..

    This took a lot of time, so he bought some tiny bells and attached them to his roosters.

    Each bell had a different tone, so he could tell from a distance, which rooster was performing.

    Now, he could sit on the porch And fill out an efficiency report by just listening to the bells.

    John's favourite rooster, old Butch, was a very fine specimen, but this morning he noticed old Butch's bell hadn't rung at all!

    When he went to investigate, he saw the other roosters were busy chasing pullets, bells-a-ringing, but the pullets, hearing the roosters coming, could run for cover.

    To John's amazement, old Butch had his bell in his beak, so it couldn't ring.

    He'd sneak up on a pullet, do his job and walk on to the next one.

    John was so proud of old Butch, he entered him in the Renfrew County Fair and he became an overnight sensation among the judges.

    The result was the judges not only awarded old Butch the "No Bell Piece Prize" but they also awarded him the Pulletsurprise as well.

    Clearly old Butch was a politician in the making.

    Who else but a politician could figure out how to win two of the most highly coveted awards on our planet by being the best at sneaking up on the populace and screwing them when they weren't paying attention.

    Vote carefully next year, the bells are not always audible.

  • Want a good laugh!

    Check this page out!!!!

    http://twitter.com/RedneckSingle

  • A Disappointing Weekend.

    Got up at 4:00 a.m. on Saturday to go Duck/Goose hunting with my father in law. It was slightly misting and very overcast. By the time we got to the blind, got the decoys set up and in position it was nothing but a waiting game from then.

    We waited....

    and waited....

    and waited....

    For 6 hours and not a single bird flew by or even made a sound within in any hearing distance. So we packed up and went looking for birds and couldn't find any on our usual ponds that we can go to. So we decided to do a little Turkey hunting. Went to the place he saw the turkeys at on Friday. As we started making a few calls, we heard nothing. It was a very disappointing day.

    To make matters worse, one of our family friends mother passed away on Saturday as well. This family is lives up where we hunt and we frequently hunt with and fish with them, so it came as a blow to us as well. She's been in the hospital for several days and was starting to recover when she went downhill fast. I didn't have cell reception until I got into town and that's when we found out.

    So we stopped by there for a little while and then went and got pizza and beer for them as they have been up since 1 a.m. that day and haven't eaten. We where there for a couple more hours and then lots of people started to show up so we said our goodbyes. Rosaries tonight.

    Sunday was just a blah day with it raining non-stop, so took to cleaning the house up.

    It just ended up being a pretty shitty weekend.

  • Texts From Last Night

    (512): Do people in England often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?

  • Meme

  • Tags that I can't use

    Hello smitty1247,

    in order to use your tags to improve the searchability of your blog posts, it has been necessary to make a few changes to the tag system.

    The changes are as follows:

    - tags will continue to be separated by a comma
    - a tag must consist of between two and fifty characters
    - a single tag can consist of up to five words
    - almost all characters can be used as tags, except <, > and any other HTML code symbols

    Unfortunately, these changes have caused some of your tags to be deleted.

    --------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    The following are your tags were deleted:

    Post Tag: m | free-drinks-for-putting-up-with-me. | trying-my-hardest-not-to-kill-somebody | can't-believe-i-was-so-stupid. | at-least-they-didn't-take-away-my-blog | am-i-really-sure-i-want-to-live-on-a-farm. | can't-even-be-arsed-to-scratch-my-arse. | because-i-wanted-to-be-different. | why-do-women-have-to-be-so-complicated | a-nick-like-rant-i'm-just-kidding-nick | hope-nick-doesn't-have-the-plague | victoria-can't-keep-you-under-control | frankly-this-place-needs-to-livin-up-a-bit. | at-least-i-made-the-front-page-of-something. | i-could-die-of-a-heart-attach-today | stressful-times-at-work-these-days | wow-your-minds-in-the-gutter | who-needs-coffee-to-start-your-day | hitting-a-wall-never-felt-so-good. | i-changed-the-names-to-protect-the-innocent. | i'd-be-drunk-off-my-ass! | there's-no-way-this-is-going-to-fu__ing-work. | i-nearly-blew-a-head-gasket. | i-will-survive-i-am-alive | heard-on-the-radio-this-morning | but-i-don't-want-to-lose-any. | i-need-to-slow-down-and-smell-the-roses. | booty-and-booze-a-perfect-combination | hell-i-got-happy-just-reading-this! | what-the-hell-is-my-gf-trying-to-tell-me | up-all-night-sleep-all-day | i'm-leaving-on-a-jet-plane-don't-know-if-i'll-be-back-again | keeping-my-toes-in-the-sand. | it's-the-little-things-that-make-you-laugh. | i'd-hate-to-meat-someone-with-a-good-grip | i-had-for-one-for-the-guys.... | if-i-could-only-find-a-way-to-put-a-gun-to-someone's-head.

    --------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    The tags were deleted because of the following errors:

    - Die Mindestanzahl von Zeichen für ein Tag wurde nicht eingehalten. Ein Tag muss mindestens aus 2 zusammenhängenden Buchstaben oder Zahlen bestehen (a-z, A-Z, 0-9).
    - Das Tag enthält zu viele Wörter. Ein Tag darf nur aus maximal 5 Wörtern bestehen. Bitte trenne Deine Tags mit Kommas und nicht mit Leerzeichen.
    - Tags dürfen nicht länger als 50 Zeichen sein.

    --------------------------------------------------------------------------------

    Thank you for your understanding. We hope you enjoy the new improved tag system.

    If you want to read more about the new tag system, or give us some feedback on the changes, please click here: The Blog

    Your blog.de team

  • How well do you know your etiquette around the world.

    http://www.fekids.com/img/kln/flash/DontGrossOutTheWorld.swf

  • What a Lazy Weekend!

    Didn't really get much accomplished.

    On Saturday Jenn and I went with her parents to their old house that they just finally sold to rake leaves and move stuff out for the last time. That was early Saturday morning. After that we just chilled around the house till about 5 O'clock where we went out to eat and then over to a Halloween party at one of her friends house. There wasn't any costumes or anything like that, we just watched a movie (The unborn) and let the kids go Trick or Treating.

    Sunday, we actually had plans to do stuff around the apartment to get ready to move, if we ever close. Instead, the old 1983 miniseries "V" was on and my wife stopped everything to watch that. Since there is a new version coming out next week, the SyFy channel had a "V" marathon. We watched that from noon to 10:00 p.m. last night. Apparently it is one of Jenn's favorite shows that she watched with her dad. After about the first hour I was hooked and stayed glued to the TV.

    It's nice to have a some R&R.

  • To Much Information!

    ....Ooo, Chocolate Pudding!

    Large chick in group of students: I like science, music, dance, and you know what else I like? Anal.

    Community College
    Virginia

  • Women's Training Class

    Fall Classes for Women at
    THE ADULT LEARNING CENTER

    REGISTRATION MUST BE COMPLETED
    by
    Friday, November 20th , 2009

    NOTE: DUE TO THE COMPLEXITY AND DIFFICULTY LEVEL
    OF THEIR CONTENTS, CLASS SIZES WILL BE LIMITED TO 8 PARTICIPANTS MAXIMUM
    .



    Class 1
    Up in Winter, Down in Summer - How to Adjust a Thermostat

    Step by Step, with Slide Presentation.
    Meets 4 wks, Monday and Wednesday for 2 hrs beginning at 7:00 PM..

    Class 2
    Which Takes More Energy - Putting the Toilet Seat Down, or Bitching About It for 3 Hours?
    Round Table Discussion.

    Meets 2 weeks, Saturday 12:00 for 2 hours.

    Class 3
    Is It Possible To Drive Past a Wal-Mart Without Stopping?--Group Debate.

    Meets 4 weeks, Saturday 10:00 PM for 2 hours.

    Class 4
    Fundamental Differences Between a Purse and a Suitcase--Pictures and Explanatory Graphics.

    Meets Saturdays at 2:00 PM for 3 weeks.

    Class 5
    Curling Irons--Can They Levitate and Fly Into The Bathroom Cabinet?
    Examples on Video.

    Meets 4 we eks, Tuesday and Thursday for 2 hours beginning
    at 7:00 PM

    Class 6
    How to Ask Questions During Commercials and Be Quiet During the Program
    Help Line Support and Support Groups.

    Meets 4 Weeks, Friday and Sunday 7:00 PM

    Class 7
    Can a Bath Be Taken Without 14 Different Kinds of Soaps and Shampoos?
    Open Forum
    .
    Monday at 8:00 PM, 2 hours.

    Class 8
    Health Watch--They Make Medicine for PMS - USE IT!

    Three nights; Monday, Wednesday, Friday at 7:00 PM for 2 hours.

    Class 9
    I Was Wrong and He Was Right!--Real Life Testimonials.

    Tuesdays at 6:00 PM Location to be determined.

    Class 10
    How to Parallel Park In Less Than 20 Minutes Without an Insurance Claim.
    Driving Simulations...

    4 weeks, Saturday's noon, 2 hours.

    Class 11
    Learning to Live--How to Apply Brakes Without Throwing Passengers Through the Windshield
    .
    Tuesdays at 7:00 PM, location to be determined

    Class 12
    How to Shop by Yourself.

    Meets 4 wks, Tuesday and Thursday for 2 hours beginning at 7:00 PM.

    Class 13
    How to Fight Cerebral Atrophy--Remembering To Take a List To The Store, Avoiding Separate Trips for Each Item Needed.

    Cerebral Shock Therapy Sessions and Full Lobotomies Offered.
    Three nights; Monday, Wednesday, Friday at 7:00 PM for 2 hours.


    Upon completion of any of the above courses, diplomas will be issued to the survivors.

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